by Laura Bilotta

Being in a relationship is great, but if you’re single, or ‘between relationships,’ don’t for a
minute think there’s nothing good about that. While it can be depressing sometimes to see all
the empty pages on your calendar, when you’re really busy, wouldn’t that be a welcome sight?  
Perspective is everything.

If you’ve just broken up with someone, you have a choice; you can wallow in it, which your
friends and family will tolerate for just so long, or you can look at the bright side! 

Here are 9 things to appreciate when you’re single:

1. You don’t have to wait for laundry day to wear those comfortable, over-sized T-shirts and loose fitting sweat pants (you know, the ones with the holes in them).
    

2. You’ve spent a considerable sum of money on products because you believed what the packaging said - time to slather on those mud masks and see if they actually work, then go without makeup for a couple of days. Your face will thank you.
    

3. You can eat ice cream right out of the carton! You can even sprinkle stuff on it and dig in – double dipping is allowed, because you’re the boss! And grocery shopping is so much more enjoyable when you’re only buying the things you want to eat.  
    

4. That project you’ve been wanting to start? Get on it, take your time, it’s not going anywhere, it will be right where you left it when you get home. The sense of accomplishment, once you start, will make you proud of yourself.
    

5. Seize the remote! How awesome is it to watch what you want, when you want. You can even ugly cry at the sad movies, let your emotions out, blow your nose. And the shows you won’t admit to watching? Nobody has to know. 
    

6. No compromises! You don’t have to take anyone else’s wants or desires into consideration when planning anything. You don’t even have to plan anything; you can just do what you want to do when the mood hits you. 
    

7. Go somewhere new, meet new people, present yourself as the person you want to be - pretty soon you’ll be that person.
    

8. Be alone with your thoughts, get to know yourself. Pay attention to how you feel in every situation. Notice what makes you mad, sad, hurt, happy, etc. Get a better idea of what makes you tick, then seek out only the things that bring you pleasure.
    

9. Make a future resume. Focus on where you want to be 5 years from now, and write up a resume from that vantage point, as if you’ve already accomplished your goals. 

You get what you give. If you spend your single time yearning for a partner, you’re sending out an energy that says ‘I’m needy, I’m not enough,’ and you’ll attract someone who will treat you that way.

 On the other hand, if you spend your single time improving your life, making choices that make you happy, you’re sending out an energy that says ‘I don’t need anyone to fulfill me, I’m good enough,’ and you’ll attract someone who will treat you that way.

It’s a perfect opportunity to make the changes in yourself that will bring you happiness without having to give anything up. Or, you can wallow and repeat the cycle over and over again. It’s up to you…you’re the boss!

Laura Bilotta is a date coach, GTA and Toronto matchmaker and the founder of successful dating website Singleinthecity.ca. Laura established Single in the City in 2002. Since its early beginnings, Laura’s efforts and expertise have allowed Single in the City to become one of the largest event based dating companies in the Greater Toronto Area. Laura’s expert knowledge of dating etiquette, relationships, and human behaviour form the basis of her experience. She has hosted over one-thousand speed dating/mixer events, coached more than one-hundred men and women into dating gurus, and she has proudly played matchmaker for countless love-seeking singles. Laura hosts her own Dating Talk show called Single in the City on Rogers Peel.