February is only days away which means one major spectacle is soon to follow, any idea what it might be? For those of you who immediately thought Valentine’s Day congratulations and you have no need to keep reading.
For the rest of you who like me immediately thought Superbowl, I’m going to do for you what I wish someone had done for me when I first starting dating.
Here is a list of things not to get your significant other for Valentine’s Day based on personal experience.
(It's through these dumb choices that I was able to find my lovely girlfriend, the apple of my eye and someone who'll put up with my beard, Margaret.)

Gym Membership

Now initially this may seem like a great idea, perhaps your partner made a new year’s resolution to be more active. They may have even been using your condo gym; here you are thinking I’ll get them a membership to a nice gym nearby. This is a great idea! Right up until “What!? I need to exercise more!?” Seriously just steer clear of the gym memberships.

Anything Cooking Related

Speaking from experience here, as I will be for a few items on this list. This really seemed like a great idea to me, we both enjoyed cooking things together so why not get a gift we could enjoy together. Silly me, she took it to mean she was a bad cook and I ended up having to duck to avoid a spatula aimed at my head. Thankfully I was still young and agile.

Pokemon Cards

While cool when we were growing up they simply aren’t anymore. Exception being the platinum Charizard card, that’s a wedding present right there.

Chia Pets

No. Just, no.

Exotic Pets

Keeping on the pet train, any exotic pets should be a definite no. That means no lions, tigers or bears also no bearded dragons. I know that one sounds really cool but you don’t want a lizard hissing at you when you’re trying to be romantic. It’s a real mood killer.

Cosmetic Treatment

Again, a personal mistake, my partner at the time spent money getting waxed, plucked and whatever’d every month. I was trying to be thoughtful.
Apparently that was me telling her to get rid of her mustache that I didn’t even know existed.

Gifts that come in Engagement Ring shaped boxes

It doesn’t matter how long you have been dating, if you aren’t married or engaged don’t give gifts that could be perceived as engagement rings. It’s a lose/lose, either they are disappointed once they open it or they run screaming from the room because it’s only been three months.

Engagement Rings

Getting engaged on Valentine’s Day is an awful idea. It's not only tacky but it puts way too much pressure on that holiday for the rest of your life. Did I mention tacky?
There's 364 other days to propose. Well, except his/her birthday, Christmas, Superbowl Sunday, Friday the 13th, February 29th, Easter, Thanksgiving, Canada Day, well, you get the point. There's still tons of other days to pick from. And on the right day, choose a practical one as that's always proven to be the best option."

Getting her car towed

I actually did this, I parked my then girlfriends car illegally while I was living in Waterloo. The car was subsequently towed and impounded for the weekend; we were carless until Monday morning. Meaning we missed out on our dinner reservation, the car also had her present in it. Personally I have no idea why we broke up.

Underwear for Two